A Chance: Chapter 3

I wrote the third chapter to this http://www.quotev.com/story/4140710/A-Chance/1/  It’s about me, a class of 2010 girl, dating the singer in my favorite band.  It is fan fic.  Please enjoy and only nice comments!!!


I took Derek outside the brown, square, rock building.  ”I know I promised my half-brother, your new drummer Evan who I had never met, to help him unload his loud.. hit.. roundies… the boxes that he hits to make boom bang crash sounds” I stammered, unable to think of the word “drum.” “Drums” Derek said, smiling at how cute I was being. “Thank you!! Anyway, I promised him I’d come on tour with the band and help him unload his durms at every show, even though I am a small woman and even though he didn’t clear this decision with the rest of the band, but.. I don’t want to do it if it means I have to see you every night. You hurt me so much.” I was near the verge of hot, dumb tears. They would come out of the white parts of my eyes.  Derek hugged me tightly. “I don’t want you to go on tour with us either. In fact, I don’t want to go on tour at all.  I want to stay home with you.  I stopped drinking and smoking that sweet wacky herb. The guys in the band will understand, just like the time you wouldn’t let them rent a porno, or like when we had to stay with you for like a week even though we live 2 hours away and have countless friends in the area; it just FEELS right. That’s how bands work. I am Derek from State Champs.” Just like his lyrics, everything Derek said sounded like poetry. My tears came out of my eyes and I hugged him and said “yes.. I will take you back. You can’t choose who you love.” Derek quickly went downstairs and told the rest of the band of the decision.  They all patted Derek on the back and wished him luck, assuring him it was cool and that they “didn’t need the money.”  Tony even asked if he could come stay with them too, because he’d heard how fun it was last time the band stayed at Sam’s house, and what an adventure it had been.  ”No,” Derek said, “we’re going to be doing sex.” Tony’s eyes got wide in disbelief.  ”Lucky…” Tony said. Poor tony.

Derek and I were naked on my bed, my guitar in my nubile lap. I was playing an acoustic version of Deadly Conversation. Derek’s tube was filling with blood with every line I sang.  ”We’re indifferent” I sang. His thing twitched. “to this deadly conversation” I crooned. It leaked a little bit. “I know you know we both know that it’s wrong.” I wailed. He put his hand over my mouth. “I need to make love to you. You have the most beautiful voice in the world. YOU should be the singer of State Champs.” I smiled and said “that’s what I’ve always felt about you, Derek, the singer for State Champs. That’s why we’re in love.” He tried to put his leaky blood-filled tube inside me, but I stopped him. “Wasn’t there something you always wanted to try?” Derek blushed. His cheeks got red. There was extra blood in his cheeks because of the blushing. “…I don’t want you to hate me.” I laughed. 3 ha’s. “ha ha ha. Derek.  There’s nothing you could say to freak me out. You know I’m open in bed.” “Okay” Derek responded, hesitantly. He walked over, dick/balls/butthole out, to his backpack. Out of it, he pulled a package. He walked back over to me, genitals bouncing, and I saw what it was.. diapers.  This was.. surprising.  What was even more surprising?  How much it turned me on.  ”Oh my god, so much yes” I said, quoting some fucking cool as hell internet meme or something.  ”Really?” he said, surprised. “I thought you’d be like, ‘epic fail.’” “Nothing you can do is an epic fail to me.” I said back to him, using very clever and neat internet terms but in real life.  That’s one of our things.
Derek slipped the diaper onto his nude body.  It was hard to get it all the way up to his waistline because his erection was extremely rigid. I put my diaper on as well, and I felt as if I’d immediately soiled it because of how wet my bingus is, ooohweee, what a sloppy mess.  We started to make out, rubbing at each other’s diapies. The crinkling sound was music to our ears. Bodily fluids began to fill our huge disposable undergarments. It was an Italian kitchen of sex. Smells dancing together in the air. Motto benne, Italiano perfecto, uh stinky stinky. The piss danced with the girl goo, the doo doo danced with the precum.  Suddenly, Derek’s phone rang.  He answered it.  ”What? A new State Champs record? Right now? Can it wait? No? It can’t wait? Bring Sam? Ok, I’ll be there soon.”  I blew Derek’s sweaty diaper dick really quick before we left and then we left, it tasted so bad.  We didn’t shower.
Watching State Champs record a new record was magic. My half-brother Evan blasting lighting fast drum fills, Tyler and Tony shredding unbelievably fast complex guitar solos, and Will’s slap bass?  Shades of Wooten.  They were on their fourth song, almost done with it.  Derek finished the last line. “And I’ll always mess mysaaayelf around yaaouuu.”  He stepped out of the singer’s box and asked the producer, Jeremy Mckinnon, another vocalist I want to blow, “how does that sound?”  ”So great, but, it’s missing something…”  Then this big fat jerk barged in.  He had sharks tattooed on his neck and X’s tattooed on his shins. “You guys called, said you needed a guest vocal spot?” he said between burps.  All the guys cringed; “why do we hang out with this mean bully?” they all silently wondered.  ”Yeah, Vincent, go in the booth, and do your… thing.” He farted and walked into the booth. He put on the headphones and made this really scary sound like a ghoul and a ghost.  It was like if a fat goblin tried to do a song. It sounded terrible over the track, and now the booth smelled bad now like him, peeyoo.  He walked out and said “Cool, send me my cash, I’m gonna go buy shoes and tweet mean stuff at people.” I did not want to blow him, even though he was a vocalist.  After he left, Jeremy quickly deleted the track and apologized, and said “he’s a sad guy.” and then also said “hmm, I think we still need SOME one to do a guest spot.  If only we knew someone who could sing pop-punk really well…” Derek slowly turned to look at me.  ”…I know someone.”  The whole band smiled, knowingly.  They remembered my beautiful, impromptu rendition of “Stick Around” I’d played for them at my mom’s house.  I got in the booth and did my thing.  Jeremy cried because of how beautiful I sounded.  Tony hugged Tyler and kissed each other on the cheek intermittently.  Evan and Will’s hands slowly came together as my voice blew their minds by being really pretty at singing, just like my writing blows their minds by being really good at reading.
Derek and I munched on bite after bite of steamy wet pizza like two little piggies.  ”You sounded so amazing in there…” he said, between chews.  I blushed and my cheeks got red from the blood in them.  ”Thank you..” I said. “A Day To Remember wants you to do a song with them.” He told me. “Cool.” I said, casually. Suddenly Derek got down on one knee.  It started raining really hard.  We were outside so the rain was hitting us and making us wet. “Sam” Derek said.  ”The time I’ve spent with you has been the best of my life.  I know this is kinda sudden, but let’s face it, I offered to let you live with me after knowing you for like, a week or so, so it makes sense.”  My eyes got wet; not from the rain, but from tears my eyes were doing because of the emotions.  ”Sam” he continued, “will you make me the happiest man in the world… and marry me?” Suddenly, a guy ran up to us and goes “Give me all your money!” then shot Derek.  Then he ran away.  ”No!!” I screamed and dropped to my knees, cradling Derek’s head.  He had two bullet wounds, one in his chest and one in his backside.  Blood and poopoo started to leak out of the diaper wound onto the street.  A few hours ago, the smell of bodily fluids mixing like that would have turned her on, but now? They just made her a sad panda, which is a reference to South Park.  Derek pulled me closer. “Sam.  Never give up, I am always there for you.  Never stop playing music, just keep singing and you will be ok. Bond with your half-brother Evan, music will bring you closer and make it all ok.  I want you to finish the new State Champs album and be the new singer….” he started to lose consciousness.  ”I’ll find the African American who did this to yoooooou!!” I screamed to the skies.  The camera starts to pull up.  I collapse onto the ground and roll around in agony, getting Derek’s red and brown salad dressing all over myself.  Credits roll, Elevated by State Champs starts to play over the credits and me crying covered in shit.

Top 3 Shocks From Wrestlemania 29: Whaaaat?!

1) Chris Jericho committing seppuku, as stipulated in his match, after losing to Fandango.  He had to commit honorable suicide with a small Asian sword, his guts spilled onto the mat and the crowd shrieked.  RIP Y2J. 
2) The Undertaker revealing a gritty, unshaved vagina during his match with CM Punk.  Undertaker had to forfeit the match for being a liar, there was no Diva match that night and Divas don’t fight Superstars.  The undefeated Wrestlemania streak ended because he had a pussy.

3) John Cena debuting his new persona “Chong Cena.”  He came out with huge buck teeth and his eyes taped back crudely to look Asian.  His opponent Rock couldn’t believe what he was seeing, and called him a “Candyass Chink” which caused the crowd to hoot and holler.

Wow, having a great night at the bar. Trying to scope out some hot to trot gals. No bites yet. Staying positive.

I invented new comic book characters

I’m starting a new comic universe. This is what I have so far.

Loone Dorango.
alter ego: Vaccinator
super power: can turn your kids into retards with all but a glance.

Reanson Jeffer.
alter ego: Pejanus
super power: smashes gender

Korrin Millborn.
alter ego: Marxellius and his mischievous Trot.
super power: tricks kids into reading Marx.

Joeseph Roegbbles.
alter ego: Illuminalix Joens.
super power: blows his enemies minds aka making his enemies take the fucking red pill. ex. turns them on to infowars.com.

Jerre Monsantosky.
alter ego: Pesdecider.
super power: makes his enemies (everyone) eat cheaplicious cornbase foodpoison.

Top girl baby names of the new year 2012

I want to be prepared when I make a girl with my dick. (Daughter. These are daughter names:

Charlina Sheena
"Girl Baby"
Dreadlock Child
Not Boy

Theee Siiimpsooons. (Taken with Instagram)

Today, I took it upon myself to calmly explain to two LaRouche PAC boobs with an Obama-as-Hitler sign that comparing our first black president to the #1 most famous white racist in history was “a bad comparison.” Somehow, they weren’t swayed. Want to have a conversation about NDAA/assassinations of enemy combatants with US citizenship? We could do that. Want to end a conversation? Say a nice black guy is Hitler.

Praising the dark lord. #instagrampentagram (Taken with Instagram)

Naming my friend’s son.

On Friday, my friend kissed a girl he’d never met and started calling her his wife. While they made out next to me on the couch, I came up with names for their son that they were gonna have.

1. Brang  

2. Drouglass  
3. Byke  
4. Sc  
5. Klue  
6. Hand  
7. Cigar  
8. Klub  
9. Drone  
10. Coal  
11. Osama bin Laden  
12. Him  
13. Truck  
14. Bradd  
15. Women  
16. Bam  
17. Margera  
18. BMX  
19. Pitbull  
20. Hunk  
21. Honk  
23. Car  
24. Chinaman  
25. Ow  
26. Ouch  
27. This Hurts I’m A Boy  
28. Plow  
29. Peter Griffin From Family Guy  
30. Trolley  
31. 420  
32. Hemp  
33. Oh  
34. Korn  
35. Skrillex  
36. Skrillex Featuring Korn  
37. Muhammed  
38. Warped Tour  
39. The Box  
40. Beer  
41. Planet Hollywood  
42. Three Hamburgers  
43. No  
44. Ramb  
32,733 plays


Madonna’s Super Bowl Song Leaked.