3) John Cena debuting his new persona “Chong Cena.”  He came out with huge buck teeth and his eyes taped back crudely to look Asian.  His opponent Rock couldn’t believe what he was seeing, and called him a “Candyass Chink” which caused the crowd to hoot and holler.

I’m starting a new comic universe. This is what I have so far.

**Villains**
Loone Dorango.
alter ego: Vaccinator
super power: can turn your kids into retards with all but a glance.

Reanson Jeffer.
alter ego: Pejanus
super power: smashes gender

Korrin Millborn.
alter ego: Marxellius and his mischievous Trot.
super power: tricks kids into reading Marx.

**Heroes**
Joeseph Roegbbles.
alter ego: Illuminalix Joens.
super power: blows his enemies minds aka making his enemies take the fucking red pill. ex. turns them on to infowars.com.

Jerre Monsantosky.
alter ego: Pesdecider.
super power: makes his enemies (everyone) eat cheaplicious cornbase foodpoison.

I want to be prepared when I make a girl with my dick. (Daughter. These are daughter names:

Pring
Gull
Gulle
Girl
Neck
Samman
ing
Pole
Dance
Dans
Hen
Chickhen
Henna
Tatu
Christinga
Charlina Sheena
Winninge
“Girl Baby”
Crone
Crone-yell
Cornrows
Cornrowz
Arby
Dreadlock Child
Petuna
Tepunia
Skrillexa
Not Boy
X.X.X.X.X.X.X.
Arby
Pune

Today, I took it upon myself to calmly explain to two LaRouche PAC boobs with an Obama-as-Hitler sign that comparing our first black president to the #1 most famous white racist in history was “a bad comparison.” Somehow, they weren’t swayed. Want to have a conversation about NDAA/assassinations of enemy combatants with US citizenship? We could do that. Want to end a conversation? Say a nice black guy is Hitler.

On Friday, my friend kissed a girl he’d never met and started calling her his wife. While they made out next to me on the couch, I came up with names for their son that they were gonna have.

1. Brang